today i met a cute teddy bear, i know from the start that it would really be hard and painful to meet her....and what's even harder is that my family really seems very close to her and adores her to the point that i feel neglected....i'm thinking how can they not think of how i'd feel...my tears keep flowing finding the right answers to my questions...my heart feels like exploding into a million pieces...i have no one to talk to and its really hard....why am i being punished like this....why am i the only one hurting and its not even my fault.....can't i have a little happiness? just a little will do for me....why can't my husband and i have a baby ....why me?....i feel so lonely ...i feel like dying....i want to escape but where do i go....how can i face something so painful....all these questions and i feel like the answer is lost somewhere that i will never find...how can i make my husband not worry about me....i need help and so little help is at reach..it's even close to none.....please help me find back my smile....my hope.....myself......
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